Saturday, November 8, 2008

Dukkho Bilaash


aakaash jure megh jomeche
megh jomeche mone,
thomke ache ashrudhara kaajol chokher kone,
mankharaper khata khule hisheb nikesh chole
kon chaoata hoi ni paoa,ke dekheni phire,
smritir paakdandi beye koto chobi ashe bheshe,
dhushor belaar mon kemone sangi hobe bole.
khelar sathi jedin tumi aar ashoni phire,
pratham premer pratisruti jedin gecho bhule,
shei na paoar dukhkho joto porche aaj mone,
shesh hoye shesh holo na jaa, jantrana tar jonne.
alosh belai ekla kone mon boshe na kaaje
micche dukher chaador gaye dukhko bilash khoje....

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Sattarer Prem


Chamra ta jhule poreche, chokher pashe bigoto panchash bochorer sukh dukhkher gobhir rekha

kichuta gholate hoye jaoa chokhe ekhono ami porte pari premer bhasha

Dingulo naki bodle geche, basanta poth hariyeche shiter kuashai

kintu tomar upashthir aanche ekhono shabuj patar chhaya aamar janalai

Ekhono jokhon sansarer hata khunti ... balish toshok ...feriwalar sathe dar daam sheshe

chayer cup ta hathe eshe bosho amar pashe sandhyebelai ,

saradiner byatha bedona ,sansarer naalisher majhe kono ek muhurte ami ekhush tumi paa rakho aatheroi

Gabhir raate aajkaal ghum ashe na bhalo, nanan byadhir bhare sapno gulo ektu khani phike

hathath kono ajana bhoye kaan paati .....shaash porche to??achcho to ekhono paashe?

Kintu jokhon tumi aalto haat rakho aamar mathai , ghoboir kono bhorsahi , kono ek ashim shantite ar ashwashe ghum name aamar chokhe...

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Muragacha --- The forgotten glory of Mukherjee Family

Bibhuti Bhushan's Apu had left his native vilage to come to Kolkata in search of job and prosperity. The story is perhaps the same for many old bengali families who with the breakdown of the zamindar system had drifted to the crowded city , looking for money, fame and glory. Even though initially they went back once a year or twice to visit their kins with time the link has got broken.The old ancestral houses with their old customs and annual durga pujas have become a distant faded memory to their city based successors. Many have been sold and replaced with new buildings or have been left in a delipidated condition unsaleable due to a maze of property rules and shariki ain .The Mukherjee family of Muragacha was no exception . I have been hearing the stories of baro diwan and choto diwan's families and their ancestal temple and annual durga puja from my inlaws. Somehow the stories had a fairy tale like quality and i would wonder how the old diwan bari might have looked intrigued by their gloty and history. Unfortunately life has never given me an oppotunity to visit Muragacha. This year the Muragacha Diwanbari is finally getting sold ,repair being too much of a burden to the very old near centurion last member of the family who till now had been living in the old ancestral house. This being the last chance to visit the property my inlaws had gone down to visit the annual durgapuja at the ancestral house of Muragacha. I am publishing some of the pictures taken by them of the Muragacha Mukherjee bari and its DurgaPuja. The DurgaPuja will be still continued as i hear by the gentleman who has bought the property.I don't know if i will have the opportunity to go on my pilgrimage to Muragacha and so i am paying my tribute to the roots of Mukherjee family through these pictures hoping to preserve this memory for the future generations.

Pictures taken from Moumi's album

Singha Duar--The Main Gate




















The Ancestral House
















The Old House
















Annapurna Mandir
















Mukherjee Barir Durga Pujo
































Grihadebataa --The Family God













Rash Mandir














Kali Mandir














Shib Mandir

Dashami
















onek alo , onek hashi , natun jama pora
adda deoa, chorkibaji ,shorshe paye ghora
emni kore charte din kemon e gelo kete
dashamir bidai bashi uthlo abar beje
Sindur khela , debi boron, shob hoyeche shara
mayer chokhe jal chik chik , aamar chokh o bhara
maa go abar ashish phire , byakul mon bole
sara bochor thakbo boshe tor ashar tore
bochor bhorer dukhko byatha maan ar abhimaan
bhule giye shokol kaalo korbo aaloi snan....

Bandhya e shomoi

Diner pore din chole jai srishtir ashai
dhushor chokhe laal kaalo shob ek hoye jai
natun kichu gorar ashai khure choli nijeke
dirgghoshasher rukhkho bayu boy ushar buker balukai

Ami brishtir ashai boshe thaki
khuje choli shei amriter falgudhara
kaan pete shunte chesta kori natun praaner spandan
aro ekta din , aro ekta raat....aro kichu opekhkha
bedonaar saagor tire boro bandhya e shomoi

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Tasselaar Tulip Festival

Its that time of the year again!Trees are turning red and gold and the pathways are covered with falling leaves,the foot steps of ice and chill herald the coming of winter and you might wonder where Spring with all its sunshine and colours and warmth has hidden. Well, i can tell you where it is now, it's in this beautiful southern part of the globe in this island country of australia.With cherry trees flaunting their delicate pink and white blooms, the daffodils spreading the yellow glow of warmth, Spring is blowing its trumpet of youth .
Every year during this time the Tasselaar farm in Sylvan, near melbourne holds a tulip festival which is quite a popular event in the Spring Calendar of Melbourne.This year we had the opportunity to visit this wonderful event.I had heard about this festival from one of my friends and as tulips are quite synoymous with Holland i was intrigued to hear of a tulip farm here in melbourne.

Tulips , unlike any other flower have a history of Intrigue, thievery and heart break.Infact the first tulips didnot originate in Holland .According to historians they originated thousands of years ago in a 'corridor' which stretches along the 40ยบ latitude between Northern China and Southern Europe. The turkish were experts in growing tulips back in 1500's - which was the time of the Ottoman Empire and of Sultan Suleiman I (1494-1566). Tulips became a symbol of wealth and prestige during the Turkish reign of Ahmed III (1703-30)and the period later became known as 'Age of the Tulips'. Infact it was the Turks who held the first tulip festival on a moonlit night!!Its said that when the turkish emperor presented the tulip to the dutch ambassador he didnot know what to do with it and handed it over to the botanical gardens.Later once they became popular the bulbs were stolen from the curator Calsius and started ornamenting the gardens of the rich and famous.The dutch really caught on the 'tulipomania'in the late 17th century when it was no longer only a thing of beauty and became a means to become rich . There was huge speculation in the buying and selling of tulip bulbs which made people rich overnight. HOwever this boom period when it went bust in 1637 , caused numerous heartbreaks .Many people lost everything they owned and for them it was a tragic ending and many many people of the day never liked the flower again.But tulips did not lose their charm through the ages and continue to fascinate us with their beauty and variety.

The history of the Tasselaar farm is infact equally fascinating. Just weeks before the outbreak of World War 2 in Europe - young Cees and Johanna Tesselaar boarded the "Strathallan" from Hollad on their wedding day and sailed for the faraway land of australia with nothing much apart from a farming knowledge and a firm belief on hard work and their mutual love.They first settled in Upper Firn Tree Gulley and then in 1945 moved to Silvan which is located in Victoria's beautiful Dandenong Ranges. They purchased a small six hectare farm and planted their first crop of Tulips and Gladioli. Over the following decades the company, under the name Padua Bulb Nurseries, grew into Australia's largest family owned floricultural operation. Every year during Spring the farm is opened to public .Surrounded by thousands of tulips and other flowers in full bloom, members of the Tesselaar family and extended family dress in traditional Dutch costume and clogs to welcome the public and loyal customers to their Silvan farm.

Intrigued and excited by this history of tulips and Tasselaar ,We started on our journey to the Tasselaar farm on a slightly cloudy saturday morning. HOwever the weather forecast predicted that by noon the sun will be up and shining. We decided to take the train to Lilydale from where the festival buses carry passengers to the farm at regular intervals.But by the time we reached Lilydale we were fast losing faith on the weather forcasts as the sun remained hidden and to top it off the rains started.We decided to wait in a small fish and chips store and were debating whether to continue further. My friend seemed to have a firm faith on the forecast and argued that there were still 15 minutes left to noon. Me being the eternal doomsayer , i was not convinced. We ordered a bucket of potato chips and nibbled desolately . But in exatly 15 mins the weather did clear up to the woops of my friend , the sun came out from hiding to my relief.

We caught the next bus to the festival. The bus meandered its way through the fringes of the dandenong amidst vista of rolling greens and farmhouses.The scenary was refreshing to our tired city eyes.It took us a bare 15 minutes.The bus dropped as at the gates of the Tasselar farm where we had to buy a ticket for entry.Once inside eyes were dazzled by colours. Tulips of every colour and description abounded in the nurseries as well as grew in rows and rows in the acres of farmland.The sound of dutch folk singing delighted our ears.We decided to explore the tulip fields first. Being strong hindi movie buffs we were excited to recall the scene from the famous movie Silsila with Amitabh and rekha singing their famous duet.We couldn't seem get enough of the colours and our camera shutters seemed to be clicking endlessly.The land was wet and muddy from the rain but we tromped around happily in our muddy boots. A quaint dutch windmill at the end of the field seemed to have added to the total effect.The sun was shining ,there wasa mild breeeze blowing, the green was dazzling and the vividly colourful carpet of tulips beconed.....what were a few specks of mud worth in comparison!!! At the other end of the field towards the nursery ,rows of tents were set up where musicians and singers in dutch costume presented dutch folk music. The lyrics were foreign but the spirit was unmistakable.At the central square , dancers in traditional costume were gathering . We headed excitedly towards that direction.The group performing were Australia'a own Tukkers Clog Dancers group. They wore the traditional dutch costume with ladies wearing the frilled head cap and ofcourse the clog.The clog is made from poplar or willow wood.In earlier days, the clog was not only a cheap and practical type of footwear it was also a form of expression. There were beautifully painted clogs to be worn on Sundays, even so called church clogs, bridal clogs, clogs for young children, and one could see in which district the clog had been made.The dances depicted various facets of the dutch lifestyle and brought out the sweetness and the simplicity of the village life.The last dance was joined by the spectators as well and finished with a lot of laughter and joyful clapping.

After all the dancing and clapping we were finally starting to feel hungry and the tents selling various dutch favourites was the obvious next destination.The food tasted delicious .It was afternoon and the closing time was drawing near.Before going back we wanted to take a piece of tasselaar with us . The farm offered to choose your own favourite tulip for $1 only . We bought a bunch and then with cones of home made ice cream headed towards the bus stop in the dying afternoon glow. A perfect day had come to an end but we were taking back precious memory that would certainly last a lifetime.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Basanta



kaanta gachtar buke phuteche ujjwal phul
moumachi duto tai esheche abar phire
"jaago jaago sakha" boleche kaane kaane
udaashi haoa ; shishu kishalay meleche chokh dhire dhire

dekeche akash ujal alor banyai
rhododendron er jhop jheleche agun lal halud kamalai
naam na jana kon ghasher phuler pashe
swallow pakhiti eshe gaan shuniye jai

garabini golap mukh dekhe santo jhorar aainai
dekhe dekhe tar aash mete na , mugdha she nijer ruper cchatai
"aamar cheye ache ke rupashi ei duniyai " bankim heshe prashna she sudhai
bole ,.."amar ruper jale aaj badhbo bhomra tomai"
bhomra bole "ogo garabini..... aamar mon aaj niyeche je kari,noi she rani ei phueler duniyai
mishti she lajuk daffodil ti meleche papri dekho
oi bhanga deoal er gaye....... "




Photo courtesy http://www.reallywelsh.com/images/what_we_do_content/what_we_do_daffodils_flower.jpg

Monday, August 25, 2008

Pherar Daak


This was published as as part of BB's Pujo shankhya...



Nishshobder shobdo

nishshobdero shobdo ache jodi kaan pete shono
bhor raate shisir jhorar chhondo--
aalto haoai paata norar shor shor;
adho ghum bhenge gele sunbe tumi
shopnogulo lukolo je durdar.

gharita melai taal tomar hrid spandaner sathe
matha nere sai dei sudhu ,bole tik tik, thik thik
"jaagte raaho "...haanke klanto paharawala
talomolo paye ghore phere neshachhanna pathik.

nishshobdero shobdo ache jaano ,
kaan patle shunte pabe jhi jhi pokar payer ghostani
kimba ghasher pore jhore pora shiulir tup tup
temni kore kaan pete jodi shono
shunte paabe durer akash gaange
lakhkhya tara dichche jeno dub .

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Tukro Tukro Ami


Well the plan was that i will finish my journy of bollywood , but this little poem came unbidden to my mind.......and as u know the muse is quite unpredictable , so penning it down....


kichuta aamai khuje pete paro
tomar gochano aalnai,
kichuta aamai khuje pete paro
sansharer baastotai.
khuje pete paro aaro aaro kichu
boier aalmaritai,
shokh kore kine ana priyo
bishnupuri ghoratai.
rabi thakurer gaane pete paro,
aamar priyo gaaner khata tai,
rang tuli ar canvas e paro
kimba lukono kabitar khata tai.

bristi diner mon kemone ar
purono chithir rang jala pata tai,
pete paro bhorer chaer cup e ,shiter dupur belai...
tibra abhimaaner ashrujole kimba kalaher tiktatai.

ekta tukro khuje pete paro jyotsna raater aaloi
ushna raate khuje pete paro aro ek tuku ;
abeger jhornai.

tukro tukro ami choriye achi je
tomar shakaal sannjhe
khuje niye jodi genthe nite paro
paabe amai kache...

Friday, August 15, 2008

Bollywood and Me

There is hardly an indian alive whose life has some how not been shaped by Bollywood.In my life the first crazy brush with Bollywood came during one durga puja in late 1980's.I was only 10 and till then was not allowed to watch hindi movies. Even hearing the songs was a strict no no.That magical autumn however i got hold of a casettee passed on to me by my aunt that became the beginning of a lifetime affair with bollywood.The song that captured my heart first was not any of the old classics but one from the movie quamat se quamat tak , that was a raging hit that year and the one that heralded a new era of romance in indian movies.I listened to the songs a hundred times a day driving my mother insane...but then i was having my first crush in life with Bollywood.

Papa kahte hain from Quamat se Quamat tak




After that came a series of hits........ Dil, Aashiqui ,Saajan....each one a hit for their songs. The pages of my diary were filling up fast with the lyrics of the songs ....we had started exchanging lyrics in school.Knowing a song by heart was considered "coool". Two from my many favouries were:

Saanson k zaroorat hain jaise from Aashiqui



Saathiya tune kya kia from LOVE



I know you are having that nostalgic smile at the corner of your lips now. First loves, puppy loves, major crushes......these songs were part of so many life changing moments.By this time of course Bollywood was well and truly a part of me . The next movie that had us adolescents by storm was Maine Pyar Kia.I would like to include some songs from that as well but that will have to wait till tomorrow....till then friends , good bye....have fun listening to the songs.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Hotash


Pratyahiker tuchchatai klanto e mon
choto choto lanchana ar kalahe berongeen jibon
tomar hashir arale lukiye thaka bidrup
shanito churir moto rakto jhorai
ami na bojhar bhan kori , na dekhar chesta kori tabu...
aandhar chheye jai
sajatne lukiye rakha aamar aasha gulo shei aandhare gumre more jeno
shapna gulo bhoye kunkre jai.
din pore din jai sudhu hatashai
nei prem , nei aalo , nei shukh,
jibon e dik hin morubhumi jeno
abashanna mon aasroi khoje shesh shojjai.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Ushna

Ushna , boro ushna , boro komol ei anubhuti
Ichche kore hathe niye ektu narachara kori
Norom pakhir palaker moto phu diye uriye di ujjal neel akashe
ushna ,boro ushna bodh kori , jokhon tomar hathduto bariye dao aamar hathe.

Natun , aankora natun lage nijeke , jokhon tomar chokhe nijeke dekhi
Ashombhab shob shadh hoi mone , ichcher kusum malai gaanthi
Bhorer norom roder moto chhoriye dite sadh hoi nijeke
Saanjher pradeep aalor moto chhunye jete sadh hoi tomaar choukath take
Ushna , boro ushna laage jano , jokhon ghum bhenge tomai pashe dekhi
ushna , boro ushna lage tokhon , jokhon tomai bhalobashi.

The version published in Sonajhuri , October 2008 issue:http://www.sonajhuri.com/sona%2049/kobita/kobita05-5.htm



Friday, August 1, 2008

Dol Purnima


Shedin o chand chilo akasher gaye aanka
mridu manda haoai chilo abeer er gandho makha
pather golapi dhuloi klanto pa phele,phirchilo joto chelemeye,
elomelo pothe payer chap porechilo ankabanka

Pother dhare ekla gacher talai
duru duru buke ami chilam apekkhai
bolechile tumi bolbe shei kotha , je kotha sudhunaki amakei bola jai
Ekek muhurte koto sapno dekha jai jano ki?
lakh noi , koti noi , shata arbud shapner budbud
jeno bheshechilo purnimar chander aloi.....

Aaj abar shei pather baanke, shei jyotsnai
darie achi ami , sudhu tumi daoni kono katha ashbarar
shobi ek ache sudhu sapner budbud gulo bhenge hoyeche churmar
pore thaka kichu hashi , kichu katha, kichu chokher jal
kurie niyechi ami..
purono kichu payer chhap chine chine shomoi hoyeche egiye cholbar
dol purnimar chand aaj abaro shakhkhi roile tumi
purono baank sheshe natun pathe ekla cholar aamar aangikar

Jajabor Mon

hetha noi hetha noi ,onno kothao , onno kono khane
sudur she kon sarga janina , mon ke amar tane
mayer aanchol, priyar bahudor, bandhur sanga---
diner sheshe kulai pherar nishchinto aram,ache shobi;
tabu majhe majhe mone hoi 'e bandan'!
ure jabo ami siberiar shei pakhider moton
hetha noi hetha noi , onno kothao, onno kono khane---

he adim manush tumio ki amar moton
chutechile shei sarger paane?
Bolechilo ki tomaro mon ,'hetha noi hetha noi onno kono khane'?
ar tai phele diye nischinto aram
par hoychile nadi samudra , marubhumi,ajana shohor gram....


Jug jug dhore abiram ei chola,
tari bij bune chole tomar rakto dhara
gabhir raate ghumai jokhon aamar gharer priya,
nischinto alingan e
path priya bole "hetha noi hetha noi onno konokhane"........

Brishti Dupur

One of my very first poems .....the time when i was falling in love with the rythm of words...

Tapur tupur brishti dupur, bhasai smritir bhela,
Tapur tupur brishti dupur, aamar chhelebela,
Mayer buke mukhti guje matir gondho shonka,
Apon mone ghorer kone , rupkathake khoja.
Tapur tupur brishti dupur, ekka dokka khela,
nouka gara kagoj diye , bhashano shei bhela.
Tapur tupur brishti dupur, radio te gaan shona
dui sakhi te kanakani, moner khobor jana.
Tapur tupur brishti dupur, ek chhatate bheja,
nibir ghono ashwashe te buke mukhti goja.
Tapur tupur brishti dupur, kothai gele chole,
kothai gele nichok chuti , bandhutike phele.
Tapur tupur brishti dupur, abar esho phire
dujon mile bashbo ghore smritir khata khule.....

Megh


Tomar chokher nibir chhayai
aakash jure megh je ghonai
gabhir kaalo kaajol rekhai
aakash mati ek hoye jai...

Monday, July 28, 2008

Spring


Splashes of colour
red green and blue
touched my heart
as Spring came through
The cuckoo sang
the gulmohar bloomed
life is young again
they cooed.....

Sunday, July 27, 2008

A touch of snow

One of the main attractions of melbourne is that you can reach almost any of your heart's desires at a very short distance . If you are the lover of sea and sand , thats half an hour , if you like the mountains thats also near by. You can visit the rain forests , the gardens, you name it and melbourne has it just a short distance away!!If you are like me pining after a lost chance to visit the alps , there is something right now near melbourne that can please your heart and make you forget the alps.Just about 3 hours from melbourne there is a place called Mt. Buller where you can feel the magical touch of snow!!
Located 208 km (129 mi) NE of Melbourne Mt . Buller rises 1,707 m (5,600 ft) above the sea level. It is covered by Sub-alpine Woodland that occupies the high ridges and upper slopes at elevations from about 1400m to 1700m, treeless sub-alpine mosaic at the highest altitudes where other vegeation don't survive in the extreme temperatures, riparian forest, shrubby dry forest, damp forest, wet forest, herb-rich foothill forest, montane dry woodland, montane damp forest and montane riparian thicket, each found at specific elevations. Mt. Buller has been a popular ski resort for quite a long time now and is a major winter attraction for all australians. In fact it has fostered and nourished the aussies love for skiing . Before early 1980's there were two lift companies operating in the mountain to lift the skiiers to the summit which meant you had buy two separate tikcets.In the late 1990's the two companies merged and now you can access any of the 25 different lifts to the various summits , all with a single tiket!!
There are various options to reach Mt. Buller .If you have a valid license You can take you own car or hire a car and drive over .There are quite a few ways you can get to Mansfield, the closest major town to Mt Buller:


Via Whittlesea and Yea from Plenty Road; Along the Hume Hwy northbound to Tallarook and then to Yea;


  • Along the Hume Hwy southbound to the Benalla/Mansfield turnoff;

  • or along the Maroondah Hwy through Yarra Glen to Yea and then on to Mansfield.


Mansfield is the gateway town to Mt. Buller. In winter you need to pay a toll to enter the resort which helps in the upkeep of the place.You can hire snow chains and clothing here at a reasonable price .If you are not used to driving over snow its better to park your car here and take the free shuttle to the top. However if you are like me , on a budget trip then you can book one of the coaches.There are several daytour coaches operating out of melbourne . They provide a very comfortable journey and here is the scoop.If you are booking your tour just a day before the journey from a half tix(http://www.halftixmelbourne.com/) outlet in melbourne you can book a tour at only half the price!!The coaches usually give a 45 mins break in Mansfield allowing you to hire ski equipment , Tobaggans , snow cothes etc.and grab a breakfast and a hot cup of coffee. If you are like me , not willing to chance a broken leg and a hole in the pocket trying to ski and would rather enjoy the snowy vista and have some safe fun , then hire a tobaggan and buy the chair lift pass from this place. They are fairly cheap and you can have a whole lot of fun . If you are bent on that skii experience , then you can hire ski gear and purchase skii lessons here as well.Finally if you are a professional skiier , well you would hardly need my advice!
The 20 mins journey up from Mnsfield is really interesting. There is that heart stopping moment of seeing the first snow. Then as you go up the vista changes from green and brown to white all over.The frozen leaves and piles of snow at the road side are a delight to any snow lover.You can get the map of the various ski trails and tobaggan slopes at Mansfield or even at the top. It would be good to have one in hand before you start the fun .The tobaggan ride can actually turn back time and let you unleash the child within .The hilarious topples in the snow make lifetime memories. If you are the serious skiier , you can head straight to the chairlift and hit the ski slopes. Even if you are not the skiier , you should take all the chair lift rides . The experience of looking down at the acres and acres of snow covered hills with hoardes of skiiers in their bright outfits is exhilarating , and you feel like screaming YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!There is a tube ride also if you want to glide down the snow.Also there are shuttle buses that take you to the Bulla village near the summit. Its a charming little village with a population of 2933 has around 7000 beds available in accommodation facilities, the most of any Victorian ski resort.So if you have fallen in love with the snow and would like to stay a night or two , you can book in here. However it would be wise to book in advance as due to the rush of tourists in the snow season the hotels can be booked from months in advanced.La Trobe University had a minor campus at Mt Buller. The campus facilities included a public cinema, gym and indoor sporting facilities. It has since been closed.It is also the home of the National Alpine Museum.Have you ever looked at a christmas card with snow covered houses and trees and snow man and wished you were there? Then you are going to love it at bulla village. You can pile the snow to build your own snowman , and don't forget to throw snowballs at your friends. What's a snow trip without snow balls flying ? However beware , if you are not wearing the right clothes you can freeze.By this time you might be feeing a trifle hungry and cold but there is nothing to worry . There are many nice warm restaurants to pick from . My personal favourite is the small asian restaurant at Bulla village . There you get a lot of hot delicacies including a perfectly yummy steaming bowl of laksa soup which is guaranteed to revv you up in the cold.
If you are lucky enough you can have a light snow shower too to complete the experience.

Pictures courtesy Apratim Chandra

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Spending a day with myself

Today i am spending a day with myself. No, it isn't just a coincidence . Infact it has required a clever and cunning planning. The idea floated into my head a few days ago when i sat cross eyed in front of my pc in my office and stared pathetically out of the window to the next building . I realized that i was not really contributing anything after all to the chaos that was my work ,neither was i contributing anything to myself and the nagging question of what i really wanted to do hit me hard. Now its too late in the day to think of a total change in career i suppose and so i thought i would just spend a day with myself unleashing the inner self that is me. And so here i am today , rambling with myself with the ingenious excuse of waiting for the plumber to fix my hot water system. The thought of creating a blog to ramble to myself has just occured while i flicked carelessly through the web searching for a way to open the window of my emotions..........